Erm, wahhdafreak

I am pissed and I need to rage. Therefore I come here.

I made a huge discovery yesterday, apparently my mother is in Hong Kong right now. I didn't even know anything. She hasn't mentioned a word TO me, I had no clue until my cousin posted something about going to Hong Kong then I realise my mum flew back to HK yesterday morning.

Yeah, wtf?

My cousin told me she tried calling me on my phone, yeah she has - but always during business hours when I am at work, WHICH MEANS, I can't take personal calls. And whenever I call her back, her phone is either off or doesn't answer.

Okay, no phone contact.

She lives 5 minute drive away from me, could've at LEAST dropped down a note or something. 2 weeks ago, she came by mine to drop off my passport, and guess what ? She didn't even mention ONE single word about her & HK.

She doesn't tell me when she's in hospital, she doesn't tell me when she's flying overseas. All she ever tells me is I am going to die from eating too much junk food or getting rape or whatever shit.

ERM YEAH THANKS MUM.

And then there's the boyfriend.. he's been on my nerves too.
I hate how he is always lagging.
I hate how he always don't get things done till the very last minute.
I hate how he doesn't prioritise - since when is Starcraft more important then fixing up his own resume?
I hate how he doesn't seem like he gives a shit about anything at all.

So, 2 days ago, I finally told him about how insecure I've been feeling ever since that little "comparision" that SHE made. Yeah, I bet you she'd be please with herself to know that she's managed to affect me, congrats bitch! Anyways, I don't like losing, I'm sure no one does. And for her to have said something like that had always made me feel as though i am not good enough - she's the better one. Yeah, I know I shouldn't give two shits about what that girl had said, but in a way, I gotta admit, at times I know I can do so much more for him than that, but I am not, WHY THE HELL AM I NOT?

When I was with KW, I did all these amazing stuff for him - his birthday surprise parties, his presents, this & that. But now, I am so cbf with my current boyfriend. WHY? It's not that I don't love him enough, i am just so cbf?

I think I am scared of getting hurt again.
Hmm I dont know.

I AM CLEARLY PMS-ING RIGHT NOW.