Apparently I am low

Honestly I never thought I would blog about this, but here I am blogging about it, once and for all.

So tonight I randomly receive a message from this particular someone. This particular person was once a very very good friend of mine, but over time shit happens and things change. She decided to call me " irresponsible" and "low" and how I am such a disappointment and how she hope she never runs into a person like me again.People would probably think I am upset by this, but there's only one thing I can say to her, and that is, " I could say exactly the same to you, couldn't put it better myself."

For months I have kept my mouth shut about what happened, for months I haven't mentioned one single word about it. You can continue mocking me, continue saying shit about me, continue saying how low I am or whatever you want to say about me. But just a reminder to you, I can do exactly the same to you, going around telling people about you etc . I just choose not to say anything because I still have respect, not to you, but to society. I don't need to go around the world telling people what kind of a person you are, simply because you aren't even worth that bit of effort.

I know you read this, and I know you stalk me. Let me just tell you, my life has been drama free ever since you stepped out. I am sick of people thinking of me as though I am living under your shadows. I am sick of people talking shit about you and I am the one that would have to put up with it and jump to your defense. I am sick of hearing your dramatic life, one that you chose to walk into. Yes I too have a thing for the dramatics, but I don't ask for it. I don't ask to be an only child with a sick mother. i didn't ask to have move out and having to live and support myself. i didn't ask to not have money. Unlike you, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. You say you support yourself, I think you have misunderstood what that means. Realise this, at the end of the day, you still have a mother to support your living, to provide you shelter, and your daily needs. You still have a family who would care for you, who would sit down with you when you are upset and down. But me? I go home facing 4 walls and a fish, whatever happens in my life, I can only deal it myself. You grew up with a family, I grew up moving around a lot. You and I are from completely different worlds. You grew up being spoil, I grew up through fear and forcing myself to be independent.

Lucky for me, I have a supportive boyfriend. I cherish everything I've got, unlike you - you see everything as toys, you take things for granted. I can no longer stand being friends with you. Your value and mine are just too different, there's a saying that a friend of mine told me just recently,

Who you are is reflected in who you associate with and trash will always go into the rubbish bin.

Like I've said, I am not saying I don't have faults in this. But let me just make it clear to you now, our friendship was long gone right before the feud. The day I lost respect for you was the day you lost respect for yourself. I no longer wanted to associate with a person who doesn't have respect for themselves.

homesick

Its that time of the year again. The time where everyone goes overseas, the time where a lot of my friends goes to the place i call home.
HK I miss you so much. Not just the food, but my family, I miss them so much. I miss my my aunties and uncles.   I miss my 5th uncles cooking. I miss holding onto 5e while shopping. I miss going breakfast with 6e and masao every saturday. I miss playing wii with masao.. i miss going to eat jook with 4e. I miss choi yi. I miss clearwater bay. I miss seeing everyone on CNY. I miss the food. the family. I miss every aspect of it.





something totally out of topic...

I am having those feelings again. Those uneasy feeling ones where it seems as though i don't deserve him. Sure, his had his fair share of contributing to my heartbreaks and sleepless nights. But when you  really think bout it. He is also the one that will take you home regardless how late it is at night. his also the one that will let you go off at him for no reason, simply because he knows you were having a bad day. He's the one that sits there and listens to you talk, the one that will lay in bed with you listening you talk until you fall asleep..

And me? what have I done?
nothing but whinge. complain and whine. i whinge when he doesnt call me on time. I whinge when he doesnt answer my calls, i whinge when his tired.

sometimes, it just feels like he is much better off without me.

days like these really kills me on the inside.

Chueng Tai's Birthday :)

Its been awhile since I last blogged, and Mrs. Chueng had been eager for me to blog about her birthday haha. 

Friday night went to K for Mrs. Chueng's 20th @ Big Echo, thank god henry didn't drive so he could drink with me. Met up with everyone at Charlie Chan's cos they had pre-drinks, walked our way to big echo trying to avoid get raped by Susan & Joey the Rapist Duo. Had a mad 3hour sing your heart out session with about 30 other people in the room. Alcohol + Karaoke + a bunch of party people = an epic night! Here's some photos from the night.

Sleeping joey ! XD 

Thanks Vivienne for the fast upload <3

Saturday I can't remember what I did, think I stayed home and watched drama all day.

Sunday was henry and my 9 months :) 

9 months went by so fast. I still remember the day we first met & the day he asked me out.. its already been 9 months, yet it still feels as though everything just happened yesterday. :) 

anyways, I am offs for now. Update again soon. Probably tomorrow just to edit this. x

Scooter or bike?

So the other day I was walking home from work & I saw these two kids, one was riding a bike and the other one was riding a scooter and I thought, " Hey I remember when I used to do that! " Scooters, Bicycle, Rolling Blades .. those were the days.

I actually missed that.

If you asked me to go for a bike ride now, I will tell you to piss off straight out.
COS I AM NOW AN UNFIT COW!

Anyways, I am just ranting on about stuff cos I am random like that.
Computer servers went offline at work on Wednesday and majority of our data were gone. GG'ed. Its friday now and my boss is still trying to recover it, or whats left of it anyways. Thats why people, always backup backup backup your stuff. Once its gone, its gone.

At the moment, I am at work watching my boss mourning about recovering data while I am as bored as. Susan's birthday tonight @ Big Echo - another memoriless night with memorable people, hear we come!

Henry's new work is nice :) I went to drop by the other day when the city was pouring dog shit and I went to give him an umbrella. YEAH OMG, I went to buy him and umbrella, brought it to his work, managed to make my own finger bled and guess what? It STOPS raining. like thanks weather.

Okay enough ranting. I am bored. Kthnxbye.

I am an Impulse Buyer :(

 Today, I was suppose to just go and grab flats and maybe a bag. But I came home with,

1 x Casual Bag from Cotton On

1 x White Flats for casual wear

1 x 3 quarter light washed jeans

2 x undergarments

1 x Nair Wax Strips 

3 x Chichi Lipliner

1 x Cosmopolitan Dec Issue 

AM I AN IMPULSE BUYER OR WHAT?

And yesterday,

1 x Maybelline Pure Make up Foundation for everyday wear

1x Light Pink Nail Polish

1x Black flats from K-mart

Yesterday, both henry and I didn't have work so just went out for a relaxing day of chilling and nothing much. Went Lunch at Kagaya at Hurstville. Those who know me enough know that even though that place is kindov crap, I still love going there cos I love their appetizers haha. Ordered Lunch special & Deep fried oysters :) It obviously wasn't as nice as the ones I had for my birthday at Musashi, but it was worth the try. 

After lunch, as per usual Henry went to his favourite candy shop and impulse bought again. 

Last tuesday, I planned a dinner for henry's birthday. It went according to plan :) And I think he enjoyed it. I hope he did. 

Not much to blog about, just a lot of photo spamming haha :) 

Blog again later. x 

selfish or insecurity?

I am having a lot of mix feelings right now. It's over something really small.
Friday night, the official start of a weekend.
I am too tired and pov at the moment to go out. I just want to stay home and rest.
Yet my boyfriend wants to go clubbing.
A part of me doesn't want him to go, but I don't feel that I have the right to stop someone from what they want to do. I don't have the right to take away someones right to have fun.
What I don't understand is, we've been clubbing for 3 weeks in a row now, why does he still want to go? I don't know. Maybe to catch up with friends or whatnot.
Wouldn't it be nice to just rest for one weekend, because the next weekend there's another event on.
But I guess its up to him.
I don't know.

I am not worried that he is going to pick girls up at the club, because I know he's smart enough to know not to do so at a club that we promote for, atleast I hope he is smart enough.
I just don't like him going out without me, simply because I don't know what he gets up to, and I am scared he would do something behind my back, as he once had.
Blah ..

Erm, wahhdafreak

I am pissed and I need to rage. Therefore I come here.

I made a huge discovery yesterday, apparently my mother is in Hong Kong right now. I didn't even know anything. She hasn't mentioned a word TO me, I had no clue until my cousin posted something about going to Hong Kong then I realise my mum flew back to HK yesterday morning.

Yeah, wtf?

My cousin told me she tried calling me on my phone, yeah she has - but always during business hours when I am at work, WHICH MEANS, I can't take personal calls. And whenever I call her back, her phone is either off or doesn't answer.

Okay, no phone contact.

She lives 5 minute drive away from me, could've at LEAST dropped down a note or something. 2 weeks ago, she came by mine to drop off my passport, and guess what ? She didn't even mention ONE single word about her & HK.

She doesn't tell me when she's in hospital, she doesn't tell me when she's flying overseas. All she ever tells me is I am going to die from eating too much junk food or getting rape or whatever shit.

ERM YEAH THANKS MUM.

And then there's the boyfriend.. he's been on my nerves too.
I hate how he is always lagging.
I hate how he always don't get things done till the very last minute.
I hate how he doesn't prioritise - since when is Starcraft more important then fixing up his own resume?
I hate how he doesn't seem like he gives a shit about anything at all.

So, 2 days ago, I finally told him about how insecure I've been feeling ever since that little "comparision" that SHE made. Yeah, I bet you she'd be please with herself to know that she's managed to affect me, congrats bitch! Anyways, I don't like losing, I'm sure no one does. And for her to have said something like that had always made me feel as though i am not good enough - she's the better one. Yeah, I know I shouldn't give two shits about what that girl had said, but in a way, I gotta admit, at times I know I can do so much more for him than that, but I am not, WHY THE HELL AM I NOT?

When I was with KW, I did all these amazing stuff for him - his birthday surprise parties, his presents, this & that. But now, I am so cbf with my current boyfriend. WHY? It's not that I don't love him enough, i am just so cbf?

I think I am scared of getting hurt again.
Hmm I dont know.

I AM CLEARLY PMS-ING RIGHT NOW.

Henry's Birthday Madness Weekend + Halloween

Halloween, that time of the year where people get to dress up as retarded ( or glamorous) as they want and walk down the streets without being judged - I love it!

This year's halloween felt so different, because of the amount of people that are actually putting the efforts into celebrating it. Halloween is more of an "American" thing, but nowadays, we Australians are also getting into that spooky spirit!! It's so fun just to see what everyone pulls off!

So on Friday, after work, Henry came over to mine and I started getting ready for the long night ahead at Zaia. It was the Halloween Party at Zaia as well and for Henry's birthday as well. This year, I dressed up as a french maid, typical I know. But my costume was pink and black instead of being the boring black and white.. pink and black is so me. haha. Anyways, I tried to get ready in the speed of light, ( which failed badly because my corset was being a bitch to me) We were suppose to be a the city at 7pm but ended up there at 8.30pm. GOSH.. girls are such laggers. hahaha.

As we got to the city, we found everyone at Kobow eating dinner, met up with Susan Oska and Jono, and headed over to Kobow. Marcus came by a little later and we all headed over to Zaia.

Zaia was just AMAZING that night! The decorations, the spirit that everyone was in was just WOW. I stayed there from like 10 - finish. Which was like 4am in the morning. By the end of it, I was so exhausted we just stayed over at a friends place in the city.









Saturday, after waking up at 10am in the morning and fiddled around in bed till 1pm until the boyfriend decided to wake up, we headed out to meet up with Loretta and others for the surprise present that Loretta had planned for Jono's birthday. Met up with everyone at hungry jacks and doing final touches to the wooden letters that spells out his name, we waited for the hung over jonothon tam to arrive.

Upon his arrival, he thought he was out for Henry's birthday, but was so surprise to see , " Jonohon w" standing on the glass windows at hungry jacks his jaws almost dropped.




After the little surprise, we decided to cruise around the new Westfields at Pitt St - it was a maze. We visited Tash at the Guess Shop and then went for a coffee session at GJS with Jono and Cathy and headed back to Henry's to dinner with his mum.

Sunday Henry and I went to watch " The Town" at Parra, I didn't really like the movie, it was kind of boring for me. I literally fell asleep half way through it. Haha. But Blake Lively was hot, cept she was trashy hot. Just a relaxing sunday for the birthday boy & I :)

Monday we went to yumcha with henry's dad at Mr. Chao's at Hurstville. It wasn't as good as I remembered it. Maybe we went a little late so there wasn't much food to choose from, nevertheless, it was still fulfilling. 12 dishes = $57.40. Pretty good. Then we headed back to parra to watch "the social network" - the facebook movie. It's pretty insteresting actually, I felt that Mark Zurkerberg was really selfish in regards to the whole "facebook idea". Yeah, sure facebook was his idea, but he was in a partnership with Eduado Saverin. And Sean Parker just pissed me off - even though the role was played by Justin Timberlake. But overall, the movie was really good and interesting.

After the movies, Henry and I went went back to his, picked up his parents and went to eat at Sunny's in Auburn for his birthday dinner. The food was alright, apparently the fish was disappointing, but I didn't really try it so yeah.

I think that pretty much recaps whats been happening. Blog again soon.

lovelove,
jenny.