[ive given numerous ; i must be an idiot.]
July 9, 2010
Stages in a relationship - good find :)
From: http://itskimtranmotherfuckers.tumblr.com/post/788440996/stages-in-a-relationship
Stages in a relationship.
- The chase. The stage where you get to know the person & grow to love them. You talk to them constantly & text them. They’re usually the last person you talk to before you go to bed. You wake up to goodmorning texts from them & they’re on your mind throughout the day. As you two grow closer, you learn more about each other that makes you fall even deeper in love with them. Their flaws aren’t really flaws to you & everything they do just makes you light up. You guys share the same taste in music & do cute things for each other. You try to impress one another & I bet your friends tease you two about getting together.
- The facebook status change. So it’s official. Facebook official. You two are now “In A Relationship”. Congratulations ! Your friends “like” it & comment on it. Don’t even deny that you like the attention. Admit it, honeymoon days & the pillowtalk stage is great. (;
- Comfortable. You guys have reached a level of comfort with each other. You stopped trying to hard to impress one another & gradually you grow so accustomed to them if you’re a girl you lose the need to doll up & look your best every time you see them. Sometimes you may miss being single. It’s weird, when you’re single you want to be in a relationship but once you’re in one you sort of miss being single. You miss the freedom & now you’re responsible for another person’s feelings. But you shouldn’t feel that way constantly, or maybe you just can’t settle down.
- Those stay-up-all-night-soul-crushing fights. You two have your first real fight. It was bound to happen eventually. Usually it brings you two closer because like they say, those who fight still care for each other. Those fights will either cause you to break up, or if you two endure, your love for each other will grow stronger & more secure. You realize the other person isn’t perfect, or exactly how you thought they were, as you become even more entwined in their life, but you love them despite your expectations.
- The grass is greener on the other side syndrome. There comes a point where you wonder if someone else could make you happier. If there’s someone out there that will connect to you better or love you better. The thing is, when they get you, most guys stop doing the things they used to. You miss how hard he would try & the cute things he’d do. It seems like he’s not putting in as much effort as the other guy who does cute things for you but face it, those insignificant things are nothing compared to the love he has for you. When a guy truly loves you, best believe you have his heart in the palm of your hands.
- Long term. Maybe it’s 6 months, or maybe it’s a year. But when you two have made it so far together that you’re considered long term, that’s an accomplishment because most couples around this age only last a few months.
Put a blind eye to it,
There's something that's bothering me. I am so tired of fighting.
I don't want to fight, I just want to stay in love.
I should just put a blind eye to it, pretend as though I don't know.
3 Options,
1. Stay with him & wait for him to realise
It takes forever and he might not ever even realise how much its hurting
2.Hang in there, but not be with him for him to realise.
I am not strong enough, one thing he says I get too soft hearted and I just let it slip through. But history just replays over and over again.
3.. Just let it go.
I love him, I am not ready to let go .. I don't want to let this go.
Why is it that everytime when things just seems to be okay again, something goes wrong.
It's times like this where I wonder, maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
What do I do ?
I don't want to fight, I just want to stay in love.
I should just put a blind eye to it, pretend as though I don't know.
3 Options,
1. Stay with him & wait for him to realise
It takes forever and he might not ever even realise how much its hurting
2.Hang in there, but not be with him for him to realise.
I am not strong enough, one thing he says I get too soft hearted and I just let it slip through. But history just replays over and over again.
3.. Just let it go.
I love him, I am not ready to let go .. I don't want to let this go.
Why is it that everytime when things just seems to be okay again, something goes wrong.
It's times like this where I wonder, maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
What do I do ?
5 Hungry Hippos + 1 Masterchef
So recently I received a new nickame by my incest family members - "Wonga", I must admit of all nicknames I've been given in the past, this one sounds the most terrible =p Nevertheless, I love them for giving me such a bad name.. Here, judge for yourself.
Jenjen, jennos, jenskies, justjennii - friends [there's just too many jenny out there]
Shortie - Friends [for obvious reasons lol]
lostie - Friends(mostly crystal) [because I am such a lost soul]
Ah Ming - Family [its like a family nickname which I still gets called by today..]
Ah Beng - Tan [He only called me that cos he heard wrong when my mum screamed out "ahming" but somehow he heard ah beng & ahbeng sounds so retarded in chinese & tan enjoys making fun of me.]
Wonga - incestfamily [because I am jennywong lol]
Yesterday, we had a cook-off at NJ's house, it was hell alotsa of fun! Henry cooked the nicest Lasagna & it was nice to see Faye playing housewife =p Here are some photos :)
Henry posing in his PHD jacket while grocery shopping
Mi goreng in a cup ?!?
LOL, we left a message at Auburn Woolworths
Frying Pork Chops
You got a big mouth there fayeness
My masterchef boyfriend
my wifeys - dawn & faye
BEST LASAGNE IN THE WHOLE WORLD - because its made BY my baby :)
Dnm with the boyfriend later that night.
It made me realise something - we all have a past, but past is past, shouldn't look back at what's happened, look forward to the future.It takes time to get over things.
Honestly, in the beginning of this relationship, I thought I was ready to take it on board. I thought this could be a new beginning for the both of us - but after last night's conversation, I realised we both have a baggage that we need to learn to let go. But nevertheless, we both love each other deep down, we just need to learn to let go of the past.
Even though we haven't been together for long, and we still have a baggage that we learn to let go. I am sure in time, we will pull through this one too.
I'm not his first love, nor have I made such an impact in his life, but I am his current girlfriend and he loves me for who I am - and I am thankful for that. I am just an ordinary girl, with an ordinary life [ which really sucks at times ] it makes me wonder, why did he choose me?
Henry, I love you so much, you are someone special to me, someone who came into my life and is now part of it. You made me realise that time heals the broken heart, people can love again, I can love again. I am really happy that I am with you, you have that effect on me that no one else has. I know I am stubborn and annoying & whinges a lot, but you always put up with me. You truly are amazing.
July 5, 2010
QUESTION TIME - scabbed it from facebook :)
1. Be honest, who texted you last?
Michael Dinh
2. Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Closed
3. Did anyone see your last kiss?
Most Likely
4. Do you drink tea?
Yes, I love tea
5. Have you kissed someone older than you?
Always ;)
6. Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Work ..
7. Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together?
Yes. But its not going to happen hehe
8. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation?
Canada
9. Do you want to get married?
Yes.
10. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
PJS
11. Last person you told a secret to?
Either my boyfriend, or my girlfriends.
12. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Boyfriend's arm lol.
13. Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Fingers cross that my boyfriend does. lol .. [ I know you are reading this Henry Tran.. ]
14. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
There's more than one person =)
15. Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?
Yes ..
16. Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
Yes of course. Family & true friends
17. Are relationships ever really worth it?
Why would someone go into a relationship if they don't think it's worth it.
18. When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Whenever I am with Henry :)
19. Were you single last summer?
Yes =)
20. Do you like thunderstorms?
No, I hate it. I am scared of it.
21. Do you believe in love?
Yes
22. Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
Definitely, karma always gets you back.
23. When did you last hold hands with someone?
A couple of days ago =)
24. Have any memories that you'd like to forget?
Yesss .. but it takes time.
25. Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
Yup, my girls =) & a couple of other mates.
26. How fast does your mood change?
In a blink of an eye.
27. Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you?
Not really, I can take jokes pretty easily, except when I am in a grumpy mood then I will just tell u to stfu.
28. Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Yessss ... hehe^^
29. How are you feeling?
A bit on the downside actually.
30. Would you say your an understanding person?
Somewhat.
31. Would you date someone taller than you?
Already is =)
32. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back?
Depends I guess..
33. How many times has the last person you kissed made you cry?
Why would I keep a count on that.
34. Does your top friend understand you completely?
Top Friend? I think you mean best friend/s - not completely, but they know me better than anyone else.
35. In the past 24 hours have you hung out with a girl?
Actually no.
36. This time last year can you remember who you liked?
Shamefully yes ..
37. Do you ever get good morning texts?
Sometimes & it makes me smile.
38. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Work ..
39. Is there anything in your past that you'd like to do again?
Hmmm, probably, but I can't think of anything on top of my head right now.
40. Are you one of those twilight crazy people?
Twilight is shit.
41. Do you hate the last person you kissed?
Of course not.
42. Are you someone's best friend?
Sure am =)
43. Do you have the iPhone, or do you want it?
I had one until some faggot decided to break it for me.
44. What/who woke you up this morning?
The alarm.
45. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Friends, family & the ones that I love.
46. Explain what triggered your last kiss?
We were talking and going through something pretty emotional .. so I guess that was it.
47. Where is the person who has your heart?
At work atm.
48. Is there someone who had made a difference in your life?
Yes
49. Did you sleep alone last night?
Yes and no, I slept with my soft toys and Henry was on the phone with me.
50. What was the last movie you watched at the movies and with who?
Wog boy 2 - Kings Of Mykonos with Henry.
51. Think of the first person you kissed this year, do you hate them now?
No, I love him =)
52. Do you hate the way you look in your school pictures?
YES. YUCK.
53. What did your day consist of today?
Work, msn, facebook, seek.com, talking & complaining to my boyfriend on the phone, youtube ... what a life.
54. How many people have you kissed who's name started with a J?
1 ..
55. Three days from now will you be in a relationship?
Ofcourse I will .. are you trying to jinx me.
56. Have you ever made a boy cry?
I've seen a boy cry - but I don't think I made him cry. Unless it was back in like kindergarten days then most likely since I am such a meanie haha.
57. When is your birthday?
3rd September 1989
58. Has anyone told you they loved you in the last week?
Yesss =)
59. Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now?
Yes, with my boyfriend and my friends - but then it's too cold, so no.
60. Will you be dating someone in six months?
Sure hope so =)
61. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
YES.
63. What time did you go to sleep last night and why?
3 ish? I am insomniac and I've been having trouble sleeping.
64. Are you a boy or a girl?
Girl.
65. Do you sleep with the light on?
No.
66. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
Friends, boyfriend, family - sometimes -_-'', money, shopping, new clothes, presents, FOOD.
67. If somebody liked you, would you want them to tell you?
Yes .. but then it might make things awkward.
68. How many kids do you want?
2 - a Boy & a girl.
69. Have you told anyone you love them today?
Yes - this morning when I woke him up & he mumbled it.
70. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment?
Henry Tran <3
Michael Dinh
2. Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Closed
3. Did anyone see your last kiss?
Most Likely
4. Do you drink tea?
Yes, I love tea
5. Have you kissed someone older than you?
Always ;)
6. Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Work ..
7. Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together?
Yes. But its not going to happen hehe
8. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation?
Canada
9. Do you want to get married?
Yes.
10. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
PJS
11. Last person you told a secret to?
Either my boyfriend, or my girlfriends.
12. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Boyfriend's arm lol.
13. Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Fingers cross that my boyfriend does. lol .. [ I know you are reading this Henry Tran.. ]
14. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
There's more than one person =)
15. Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?
Yes ..
16. Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
Yes of course. Family & true friends
17. Are relationships ever really worth it?
Why would someone go into a relationship if they don't think it's worth it.
18. When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Whenever I am with Henry :)
19. Were you single last summer?
Yes =)
20. Do you like thunderstorms?
No, I hate it. I am scared of it.
21. Do you believe in love?
Yes
22. Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
Definitely, karma always gets you back.
23. When did you last hold hands with someone?
A couple of days ago =)
24. Have any memories that you'd like to forget?
Yesss .. but it takes time.
25. Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
Yup, my girls =) & a couple of other mates.
26. How fast does your mood change?
In a blink of an eye.
27. Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you?
Not really, I can take jokes pretty easily, except when I am in a grumpy mood then I will just tell u to stfu.
28. Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Yessss ... hehe^^
29. How are you feeling?
A bit on the downside actually.
30. Would you say your an understanding person?
Somewhat.
31. Would you date someone taller than you?
Already is =)
32. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back?
Depends I guess..
33. How many times has the last person you kissed made you cry?
Why would I keep a count on that.
34. Does your top friend understand you completely?
Top Friend? I think you mean best friend/s - not completely, but they know me better than anyone else.
35. In the past 24 hours have you hung out with a girl?
Actually no.
36. This time last year can you remember who you liked?
Shamefully yes ..
37. Do you ever get good morning texts?
Sometimes & it makes me smile.
38. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Work ..
39. Is there anything in your past that you'd like to do again?
Hmmm, probably, but I can't think of anything on top of my head right now.
40. Are you one of those twilight crazy people?
Twilight is shit.
41. Do you hate the last person you kissed?
Of course not.
42. Are you someone's best friend?
Sure am =)
43. Do you have the iPhone, or do you want it?
I had one until some faggot decided to break it for me.
44. What/who woke you up this morning?
The alarm.
45. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Friends, family & the ones that I love.
46. Explain what triggered your last kiss?
We were talking and going through something pretty emotional .. so I guess that was it.
47. Where is the person who has your heart?
At work atm.
48. Is there someone who had made a difference in your life?
Yes
49. Did you sleep alone last night?
Yes and no, I slept with my soft toys and Henry was on the phone with me.
50. What was the last movie you watched at the movies and with who?
Wog boy 2 - Kings Of Mykonos with Henry.
51. Think of the first person you kissed this year, do you hate them now?
No, I love him =)
52. Do you hate the way you look in your school pictures?
YES. YUCK.
53. What did your day consist of today?
Work, msn, facebook, seek.com, talking & complaining to my boyfriend on the phone, youtube ... what a life.
54. How many people have you kissed who's name started with a J?
1 ..
55. Three days from now will you be in a relationship?
Ofcourse I will .. are you trying to jinx me.
56. Have you ever made a boy cry?
I've seen a boy cry - but I don't think I made him cry. Unless it was back in like kindergarten days then most likely since I am such a meanie haha.
57. When is your birthday?
3rd September 1989
58. Has anyone told you they loved you in the last week?
Yesss =)
59. Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now?
Yes, with my boyfriend and my friends - but then it's too cold, so no.
60. Will you be dating someone in six months?
Sure hope so =)
61. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
YES.
63. What time did you go to sleep last night and why?
3 ish? I am insomniac and I've been having trouble sleeping.
64. Are you a boy or a girl?
Girl.
65. Do you sleep with the light on?
No.
66. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
Friends, boyfriend, family - sometimes -_-'', money, shopping, new clothes, presents, FOOD.
67. If somebody liked you, would you want them to tell you?
Yes .. but then it might make things awkward.
68. How many kids do you want?
2 - a Boy & a girl.
69. Have you told anyone you love them today?
Yes - this morning when I woke him up & he mumbled it.
70. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment?
Henry Tran <3
July 4, 2010
always & forever.
This song brings back a lot of memories - always and forever was the pinky promise we made.
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a "boy" like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find
Thanks for being who you are.
1. J______
You were my first, but not my love. I was in year 9 and you were in year 10. I was very attracted to you, but we only lasted for a month. We used to speak on the phone every night, and I used to see you every morning. I remembered everytime I saw your face, my heart would've skipped a beat. But now, we no longer speak, we walk right past each other as though we were strangers. Do you even remember me? Or know who I am at all? Whatever you are doing, I wish you the very best.
2. A___
I don't remember much with you. It was so long ago. I don't know what happened, we were never going to work. We were 2 completely different people, from 2 completely different worlds. I remembered you really scared me when we broke up. I was really afraid of you. But now, I hear that you are apparently happily married and is very successful with your newly launched photography career. I am happy for you. Goodluck.
3. M______
We've been friends for so long, I never thought going out with you would've ruined our friendship. You are now on the other side of the world, I really miss you. Your retarded way of talking, your stupid jokes. Your korean laugh. I miss our friendship. I hope you can come back one day =) We all miss you very much.
4.B____
1 word, YUCK. I cannot believe I ever even dated you. You are one dirty junkie, no life bum. What was I thinking. You are so effed up by drugs. I see you around and I don't even want to admit that I know you. You are a no life, no future guy. How old are you now? 26? And all i see is you bumming at CC, pokies. YUCK.
5.A____
You have changed a lot. You were so cute and adorable back then, but now, you are just whipped. We never dated, but we were very close, I never thought we would stop being friends. You know, I really miss our nightly msn talks. Shame to say, we can't even be friends anymore. I hope you have a good life & stay true to yourself. I miss your company at times, but it was all in the past. Sighs..
6. G_____
I don't know where you have disappeared to, nor do I care. I am glad I saw right through you before I got too involved with you. You came into my life and messed me up. I don't care about you. No life, no friends, no future is what you have.
7. M______
Wow, I still have you on msn but we never talk after the day we broke up - can we even say we dated? I wonder how you are. I see you are still in that whole raving scene. I hope you live a good life and maybe one day, we can speak properly again.
8.V_______
YOU. I dont know what to say about you. I miss you as a friend, but I also hate you for existing. You changed a lot. I still think about you sometimes, just missed the way how we used to talk and hang out. What happened to us - we were so complicated. Remember when I came to see you that time & you were with him .. who would've thought I ended up going with him... I hope you are well. We talk from time to time, but it's just really blunt and awkward. I haven't seen you since that time at strathfield a year and a half ago. I was pretty shocked when I saw you.
9.K_____
My love. My very first love. My very first heart break.
We've been through so much together, it is really shameful to say, its all in the past now. You are still in my thoughts all the time. You really affected me. You taught me a lot. You mean a lot to me, I am really thankful to have had you in my life. You are someone that I will never forget, someone who I will always care about. Someone who I can never turn my back on. I know you don't read this, but just so you know, up until today, I still care about you very much & just so you know, if you ever want to talk, I will always be there for you. Always & Forever was the pinky promise I made to you. Even though our love no longer exists, I made a promise to you & a promise is a promise.
10.E____
You are the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. I hate you, so much. I hate every part of you. I hate everything about you. I hate what you did to me.. I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE YOU. You are a terrible person who has no respect, you are dirty, shifty and you make dirty money. You are one disgusting being who should be kept behind bars. Stay away from me you disgusting dirty boy. You have done more than enough damage to my life. I hope karma bites your ass back one day .. and I hope that day comes soon.
11.H____
You are one special person & I am glad I am with you. Being with you is so easy, we only ever fight about one thing. But besides that, we are almost perfect. You care about me, and I am so comfortable with you. You are amazing. There's a part of you that nobody else can understand or even see except me. That's why you are so special to me. Despite all the fights and arguments we go through, I am still really thankful to have you.
You were my first, but not my love. I was in year 9 and you were in year 10. I was very attracted to you, but we only lasted for a month. We used to speak on the phone every night, and I used to see you every morning. I remembered everytime I saw your face, my heart would've skipped a beat. But now, we no longer speak, we walk right past each other as though we were strangers. Do you even remember me? Or know who I am at all? Whatever you are doing, I wish you the very best.
2. A___
I don't remember much with you. It was so long ago. I don't know what happened, we were never going to work. We were 2 completely different people, from 2 completely different worlds. I remembered you really scared me when we broke up. I was really afraid of you. But now, I hear that you are apparently happily married and is very successful with your newly launched photography career. I am happy for you. Goodluck.
3. M______
We've been friends for so long, I never thought going out with you would've ruined our friendship. You are now on the other side of the world, I really miss you. Your retarded way of talking, your stupid jokes. Your korean laugh. I miss our friendship. I hope you can come back one day =) We all miss you very much.
4.B____
1 word, YUCK. I cannot believe I ever even dated you. You are one dirty junkie, no life bum. What was I thinking. You are so effed up by drugs. I see you around and I don't even want to admit that I know you. You are a no life, no future guy. How old are you now? 26? And all i see is you bumming at CC, pokies. YUCK.
5.A____
You have changed a lot. You were so cute and adorable back then, but now, you are just whipped. We never dated, but we were very close, I never thought we would stop being friends. You know, I really miss our nightly msn talks. Shame to say, we can't even be friends anymore. I hope you have a good life & stay true to yourself. I miss your company at times, but it was all in the past. Sighs..
6. G_____
I don't know where you have disappeared to, nor do I care. I am glad I saw right through you before I got too involved with you. You came into my life and messed me up. I don't care about you. No life, no friends, no future is what you have.
7. M______
Wow, I still have you on msn but we never talk after the day we broke up - can we even say we dated? I wonder how you are. I see you are still in that whole raving scene. I hope you live a good life and maybe one day, we can speak properly again.
8.V_______
YOU. I dont know what to say about you. I miss you as a friend, but I also hate you for existing. You changed a lot. I still think about you sometimes, just missed the way how we used to talk and hang out. What happened to us - we were so complicated. Remember when I came to see you that time & you were with him .. who would've thought I ended up going with him... I hope you are well. We talk from time to time, but it's just really blunt and awkward. I haven't seen you since that time at strathfield a year and a half ago. I was pretty shocked when I saw you.
9.K_____
My love. My very first love. My very first heart break.
We've been through so much together, it is really shameful to say, its all in the past now. You are still in my thoughts all the time. You really affected me. You taught me a lot. You mean a lot to me, I am really thankful to have had you in my life. You are someone that I will never forget, someone who I will always care about. Someone who I can never turn my back on. I know you don't read this, but just so you know, up until today, I still care about you very much & just so you know, if you ever want to talk, I will always be there for you. Always & Forever was the pinky promise I made to you. Even though our love no longer exists, I made a promise to you & a promise is a promise.
10.E____
You are the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. I hate you, so much. I hate every part of you. I hate everything about you. I hate what you did to me.. I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE YOU. You are a terrible person who has no respect, you are dirty, shifty and you make dirty money. You are one disgusting being who should be kept behind bars. Stay away from me you disgusting dirty boy. You have done more than enough damage to my life. I hope karma bites your ass back one day .. and I hope that day comes soon.
11.H____
You are one special person & I am glad I am with you. Being with you is so easy, we only ever fight about one thing. But besides that, we are almost perfect. You care about me, and I am so comfortable with you. You are amazing. There's a part of you that nobody else can understand or even see except me. That's why you are so special to me. Despite all the fights and arguments we go through, I am still really thankful to have you.
July 2, 2010
I don't want this anymore.
You have no idea how much this insecurity bullshit had been killing me.
You think I am all okay and fine and have gotten over it.
No, I haven't. And it still hurts everytime it comes on my mind.
How am I meant to trust you now? How am I meant to be know that this time, you will actually put efforts into this and not stuff things up. It hurts you know, it really hurts. You obviously don't understand, because you weren't the one that had go through the pain.
Why did you have to promise me something that you couldn't keep. Why did you have to bring your past into your present. Whats she gotten on you that you just can't let go. If you can't let go, why did you start being with me. Why do you have to keep doing things behind my back .. Why ..
I admit, when I am with you. I feel all safe & secure. But once you are out of my sight, the doubts and insecurities all come back. For all I know, you could be messaging her, talking to her, telling her how much you missed her. You even met up with her behind my back only having me finding out a month later from a friend.
What the hell are you doing to me?
Why do you have to do this to me?
Do you know how scared I am?
No you don't, you have absolutely no idea.
I can't put up with this anymore. It's driving me insane.
I fought so hard for us.
I wanted us to work out.
You have no idea how much you have hurt me .. over and over again.
There are times where I wonder, why should I fight for this, when at the end all I am going to be is second place.
I don't want to be 2nd place.
You never fought for us...
You never even cared ...
If you did, why did you have to fuck things up for us again and again?
You weren't ever sorry for what you did, because you kept doing it over and over again.
You were sorry that I found out.
You said you haven't spoken to her, but sooner or later you are going to go back to your old ways.
Like you always do.
I don't like her, I really don't.
I don't know her, but for the fact that you brought her into our relationship problems makes me dislike her.
I wish yous could just stop having anything to do with each other.
I don't fucken care if you's still want to be friends..
Yeah, I am selfish. So what?
Why should I give a shit about what you want when you don't give a shit about what I want.
This is my relationship, and I want things to work.
And if you talking to her, being friends with her is stuffing things up for us. Then straight out, fuck off.
I don't want this fucking up anymore.
I am so sick and tired of this bullfuckingshit.
You think I am all okay and fine and have gotten over it.
No, I haven't. And it still hurts everytime it comes on my mind.
How am I meant to trust you now? How am I meant to be know that this time, you will actually put efforts into this and not stuff things up. It hurts you know, it really hurts. You obviously don't understand, because you weren't the one that had go through the pain.
Why did you have to promise me something that you couldn't keep. Why did you have to bring your past into your present. Whats she gotten on you that you just can't let go. If you can't let go, why did you start being with me. Why do you have to keep doing things behind my back .. Why ..
I admit, when I am with you. I feel all safe & secure. But once you are out of my sight, the doubts and insecurities all come back. For all I know, you could be messaging her, talking to her, telling her how much you missed her. You even met up with her behind my back only having me finding out a month later from a friend.
What the hell are you doing to me?
Why do you have to do this to me?
Do you know how scared I am?
No you don't, you have absolutely no idea.
I can't put up with this anymore. It's driving me insane.
I fought so hard for us.
I wanted us to work out.
You have no idea how much you have hurt me .. over and over again.
There are times where I wonder, why should I fight for this, when at the end all I am going to be is second place.
I don't want to be 2nd place.
You never fought for us...
You never even cared ...
If you did, why did you have to fuck things up for us again and again?
You weren't ever sorry for what you did, because you kept doing it over and over again.
You were sorry that I found out.
You said you haven't spoken to her, but sooner or later you are going to go back to your old ways.
Like you always do.
I don't like her, I really don't.
I don't know her, but for the fact that you brought her into our relationship problems makes me dislike her.
I wish yous could just stop having anything to do with each other.
I don't fucken care if you's still want to be friends..
Yeah, I am selfish. So what?
Why should I give a shit about what you want when you don't give a shit about what I want.
This is my relationship, and I want things to work.
And if you talking to her, being friends with her is stuffing things up for us. Then straight out, fuck off.
I don't want this fucking up anymore.
I am so sick and tired of this bullfuckingshit.
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